This year, Rubi Con will be held at the Fairlane-Dearborn Conference Center Holiday Inn. It's located on Southfield Road, in between Ford and 96 in Dearborn, Michigan. There is a CompUSA right next door, which is both cool and stupid at the same time.

Some fun features of the hotel include:

• A data port in every room
• 6,600 square feet of conference space with which to run around in
• Public atrium with tables and chairs
• A pool which doesn't have food coloring in it yet!
• Friendly, red-headed sales reps.

ain't it pretty?

Rooms at the Holiday Inn are $90 for single and double rooms. If you want a room you should make reservations by calling them at (313) 336-3340. The dates of the event are, of course, May 28, 29, and 30, 1999. Let them know that you're with Rubi Con to have bestowed upon you the ultra k-rad and almost noticeably discounted room rates.

There are a lot of stores and strip malls within walking distance of the hotel, about 4 book stores, a CompUSA next door (be nice, guys...), and a Super K a few miles away. The hotel has its own bar and restaurant inside, for when you start to crave hard liquor or a turkey reuben.

Travel information

If, for some reason, you'll be flying into Rubi Con, we suggest you fly into Detroit Metro Airport. I say "if for some reason" only because those of you who wish to fly in will be completely missing out on the glory and profound dignity that can only be achieved by embarking on a multi-state road trip. There is no feeling quite like waking up, delirious and confused, in some nondescript rural hole of a town from several hours of fitful sleep which introduced your spine to several new positions which could only be described as, "new and exciting." If you're lucky, you'll have the opportunity to experience the added bonus of waking up in the back seat of your friend's very, very small car and finding that your face had been mashed in some kind of hot, extremely adhesive candy substance for the past 3 hours. It's either that or some manner of unspeakable bodily fluid. Oh the horror.

Anyway, I think we were talking about flying into Rubi Con...

In leaving the airport you should take I-94 East to the Southfield exit. Proceed north on Southfield Expressway until you come to Ford Road. Take the west exit onto Ford and go to the service drive. The hotel is visible once you get onto the service drive. It is tucked away in the intersection between Ford and Southfield, and is next to an Office Depot and CompUSA.

If you won't be renting a car, there is a shuttle run by Commuter Transport that goes from Detroit Metro and the hotel every hour. It leaves from the "Arrival" level of the airport every hour at the quarter hour from 7:15 am to 9:15 pm. It will cost you $18 round trip, and $10 one way. For more information call (313) 941-3252.

If you decide to take my "advice" and will be driving into Rubi Con from the east or the south you might wish to avoid going up I-75 from Ohio to Michigan. There is construction taking place on the state line. You may wish, alternatively, to take US-23 to Ann Arbor and connect to I-94 from there. You will be driving more miles, but it will save you time. Once you get onto I-94 you can follow the directions from the airport.

If you are driving in from the west, simply get on East I-94 and follow the directions from the airport.

If you are coming in from Canada, cross into Michigan at the bridge at Windsor, Ontario. Don't take the tunnel, I'm scared of the tunnel and I don't want any part of people actually using it. As in, I never use it, I try to keep my friends from using it, and I don't wany any of you guys useing it either. I have bad childhood memories of the tunnel. Well, you can use it if you want to, but I don't want to hear about it... Anyway, after you cross the bridge take the Jeffries Freeway (I-96) west to the Southfield Expressway. Go south on the Southfield Expressway until you get to Ford Road. Go west on Ford, and then turn right onto the service drive.

People should think about arriving on Friday afternoon, as registration begins at noon. You should definitely be at the hotel by 8:00 pm because that's when the opening ceremony begins, not a bit of which will include live, nude dancing girls, but which will be including an address by a fully clothed keynote speaker. The individual will be fully clothed, I'll make sure of it, and I will personally enforce my decision if need be. Don't even think about arriving after Friday, for by that point you will have missed a simply tremendous amount of fully-clothed mayhem.

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