"Cat"

Feast your eyes on Ron's cat, "Cat." For some reason the cruel
fellow (Ron) has elected to not name the beast, thereby setting
in motion Lord knows how many bizarre psychological problems
for her.

They say that the most important aspect of your personality, your
sense of self, is rooted firmly in your name. This is the reason
that nicknames feel so callous when they are uninvited, and why
insults in general are effective. They act in conflict with your
name, and thus attack your sense of self.

This poor cat, "Cat," has been left to wallow in a pesudo-existence,
deprived of a crucial aspect of it's own personal psychology. Were
Ron a parent (God help us all), He would be sent to prison for
child-neglect.

Every night I cry myself to sleep thinking about "Cat," and with my
tears burning a little place for the poor animal to see itself as a whole.
Okay, that last part was a lie. The truth is that I laughed the first time
I heard about "Cat," but that's the kind of unsympathetic bastard I am.

Don't you have a back button?