Volenteer for Rubi Con 1999
or,
Soul? Who needs a soul?
We are currently looking for lots of people to help us plan,
implement, and carry out Rubi Con 1999. Anyone who wants to be a part
of the event can sign up, although we might ask that volunteers live
near or around our base of 
operations
in southeastern Michigan, if only because there is a lot of stuff
that needs to happen from now until May. However, if anyone wants to
sign up as an official volunteer who will not actually be in the area
until the event occurs, please don't feel as if your involvement
would be unwelcome. There is a lot of stuff that will need to be
taken care of during the con, probably more.
Official volunteers should expect to be on call if there are any emergencies around here, and should be willing to put in a few hours every day of the con looking after stuff, administrating contests, setting up things, and other such nonsense.
We will not be expecting everyone to work for us for the entire con, because if we get enough people to help out we can just run things in shifts and give everyone lots of free time just to goof off and enjoy the con with everyone else.
Volunteers not only get to take part in the administration of the con, they also will be admitted into Rubi Con for free, and get all the free food, shirts, and illicit sex otherwise reserved for speakers and us organizers. You get to play BOFH with the lowly attendees. You will be behind the scenes during Rubi Con, gaining valuable insight into the psychology of the organizers which is great if you're an undercover FBI agent getting ready to pounce.
Anyway, if you want to join our Legions of Terror, and become a minion in our army just fill out as much of the following form as you can. Then hit "send" to zap it off to the RCCC (Rubi Con Central Command) Indoctrination Division where we will proceed to inundate you with "information" and my personal views on world politics, new lines of digital cameras, and pastries. The form asks for lots of sensitive information, and if you really don't want to give some of it out feel free to just leave it blank.
As this form takes the place of the other advanced ticket form, you will not have to request a ticket besides what you will get from this. In other words, as a volunteer you will be getting a free ticket into Rubi Con in exchange for your hours of mindless toil in our fiery boiler rooms, shoveling coal and whatnot. As such, expect to get everything you'll need in the mail, to whatever address you provide to us. And along those lines, everything in red is required for us us to properly process the form. If you fail to provide us with an email address or a mailing address, for instance, we won't be able to accept the submission.
We shall try to contact everyone who volunteers, but if you never hear from anyone please feel free to drop us a line. You will be added to the prestigious Rubi Con mailing list, but feel free to mail us about any ideas, comments or questions you may have.
Also, if we start getting too many people volunteering we will
start basing acceptance on how useful people appear to be. As in,
feel free to brag about your skills.